


I Understand

by 401



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Angry Steve Rogers, Anxiety, Bucky Barnes Feels, M/M, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Sam Wilson Is a Good Bro, Tony Stark Has A Heart, argue
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-26
Updated: 2016-04-26
Packaged: 2018-06-04 16:47:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,772
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6666460
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/401/pseuds/401
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tony Stark believes it is in everyone's best interest if Bucky stays in a secure facility for a while. Steve loses his cools and it is a bit too much for Bucky. Can they make Tony understand?</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Understand

 

 

"It's getting pretty heavy out there, hey?"

 Sam eased himself into the bathroom slowly, trying to keep the door only slightly ajar as he stepped. The noise had its place on the other side of the door. He sat

down on the edge of the bathtub, keeping enough distance between himself and the soldier.

 

"Mhm," Bucky huffed in responded, tightening his arms around his knees a little.

 He was wedged in the space between the bath and the sink, knees and legs bent awkwardly and his head resting against the white porcelain. Steve had mentioned him doing

that at home, seeking out cold, hard things. The Captain had joked that he warned 'Don't put that in your mouth!' more than a puppy owner. Sam understood it; it was

soothing and, as sad as it was, familiar to Bucky. Cold and unyielding, functional.

 

"You okay with me being in here, or shall I give you your space? There are no wrong answers," Sam reassured, keeping his eyes front so that Bucky did not feel

directly interrogated.

 

Bucky thought on it. If Sam left, he might have to go back outside. Steve was angry, something he was not fond of. He hated that he could sense the anger before Steve

could, able to track the gentle rise in colour in his cheeks and the way his posture changed from relaxed to stubborn and boxy. Then there was Tony, who no matter how

angry he got made you doubt it with his voice, smiling when he shouted and being brutally sarcastic. Steve had started to shout and it had become too much. What was

worse, they were shouting about him.

 

"You know what Tony? Try and take him to a state facility. Make my day!" Steve shouted. Sam moved a hand a little closer to Bucky, "You might wanna' put that suit of

yours on before you do."

 

Steve stepped into the bathroom, sighing and rubbing the back of his neck.

 

"Get out," Bucky said flatly, staring at the sink.

 

Sam felt a twang of pity for the Captain, watching his face fall a little.

 

"I thing Steve's done shouting now, Buck," Sam said in quiet reassurance.

 

Bucky shook his head. The motion made the tears that had been brimming precariously for a while drop onto his tshirt with heavy taps, leaving dark spots. Sam looked

Steve and gave a look of sympathy.

 

"I scared you. It was out of order and I'm really sorry," Steve admitted, sitting opposite Bucky on the floor, crossed-legged and too big for the space.

 

Bucky gritted his teeth and avoided Steve's gaze. He could feel it. It was not uncomfortable, just searching and warm. He knew that Steve's eyes would be full of guilt

and he did not want to see it, much less be the cause of it. He felt like a petulant child, pouting on the floor because his parents were arguing. He knew that was

not the case, but there was something hypercritical inside of him that wished it to be, and that was enough to lead the anxiety.

 

 

"I'm not crazy, Steve," Bucky finally managed, swallowing hard.

 

"And that red and yellow bastard out there thinks I am, and he's going to lock me up and I'm going to lose you all over again."

 

Steve shook his head and squeezed Bucky's knee. It was trembling, he could feel it through the denim.

 

"No one here thinks you are crazy. Tony just thinks..." Steve huffed out a sigh and looked down at his crossed legs.

 

Sam folded his arms and the movement made Steve turn. He looked at the Falcon for help. Sam took a place on the floor with them, a squat rather than a sit.

 

"Tony's worried about the flashbacks. He wants you in a place where they can give you stuff to calm you down and make sure you don't hurt yourself," Sam explained,

gesturing to the door when he mentioned Tony in a way that made Bucky uncomfortably aware that he was still there.

 

"Make sure I don't hurt someone else," Bucky corrected, "He wants to pump me full of more drugs so I wont hurt anybody."

 

Steve winced at the accuracy, and at the stony edge to Bucky's voice. It was hard to negoitiate with the irrational fear of someone so well trained to smell out

bullshit from a mile off. It did not even matter if he called the bullshit; he was already running from the word go. Entrapment, loss, loneliness, they were all such

real and present fears for Bucky. Steve saw it and appreciated it, but it was hard to work with.

 

"Bucky," Steve whimpered, "Bucky look at me for a moment."

 

Steve tilted the soldier's chin up and looked him dead in the eyes. It seemed to make him relax more than panic, so Steve stayed with it.

 

"I am trying to keep you at home. I really am, but I can't promise you anything."

 

Bucky went to protest so Steve put his thumb gently over his lips, cupping his face in both hands now.

 

"If you have to stay somewhere for a while, I promise you will see me everyday; non-negotiable. Sam will come, Nat will come, I'll make sure they give you as much

time out of the building as they can. It wont be like...like Germany. I promise it won't."

 

Bucky looked to Sam. The Falcon nodded in confirmation.

 

"Everyday Buck," He echoed, "I'll bring you some of my mom's cornbread that you like."

 

Bucky thought back. He loved Dr Wilson, Sam's mother. To be frank, she seemed to be Sam's, Steve's and his mother at this point, fussing after them, comforting worries

and sending frequent care packages of food that would convince Bucky to eat even when nothing else would.

 

"You with me on this, Buck? I'll do my best," Steve smiled.

 

Bucky could see the reluctance on his face. Steve did not want this, Sam did not want this. There were even times in that fight when Tony seemed genuine, and perhaps

even he did not want this. But the inevitability (despite Steve's social wafting) hung in the air like mustard gas.

 

"Just till you stabilise a bit?" Steve continued, "Really just to keep Tony quiet and then we'll get you home."

 

Bucky hesitated before nodding. Steve sighed and smiled, kissing Bucky on the forehead before helping him up.

 

"Come," Steve took Bucky's hand, "No more shouting from me."

 

They left the room. Tony turned towards them, holding a mug of coffee in his hand. Bucky stared uneasily at the glowing circle in the centre of his chest. It pulsed

sometimes, the intensity fluctuating with his movements. Stark Tower was not a place Bucky felt very comfortable. The glass floors, walls, tables, it made him feel

even more hazardous. His movements felt ungainly and unstable.

 

"I don't want to know what you guys were doing in there," Tony said, putting his coffee one of the hovering robotic trays, "So please don't tell me."

 

The hovering tray carried the mug away and around a corner.

 

"So if we are done ignoring the situation..."

 

"Don't call me that," Bucky interrupted.

 

Tony looked at Bucky with reserved surprise. Steve stepped forward a little, ready to soothe nerves and stand ground if needed, but Sam put a hand on his arm,

keeping him in place.

 

"Let's just see how this goes," Sam whispered to the Captain.

 

"I'm not a situation. Don't call me that," Bucky continued.

 

Tony frowned. These were the first words he had heard the Winter Soldier speak whilst calm, and they threw him. The shake his voice had gone and he was surprisingly

soft-spoken.

 

"I know you've only ever seen me in 'situations' but it doesn't mean I am one. And it doesn't mean you get to talk about me like I ain't here and treat me like some

sort of a liability," Bucky explained, "I'm not a headcase."

 

Steve smiled to himself, relaxing his stance and sitting on the edge of the couch. Sam winked at him; Bucky had this under control.

 

"You cannot expect me to ignore everything that has happened in the last couple of weeks, Sergeant," Tony sighed, "You're temperamental, you're detached and you are very highly trained and I do not think that this is a threat the Avengers need on their wrap sheet right now."

 

Tony turned and walked towards the door. Steve huffed a sigh and raked his hands over his face in frustration. Reality set in.

 

"I thought you'd understand," Bucky called towards Stark's turnt back, "Panic attacks? PTSD? Reliving the same thing over and over. I heard about that space thing

Stark. This is the same, just my attacks are a little louder than yours. And I can't take my suit off."

 

Tony stopped dead, his hand poised on the door handle. Bucky knew he had overstepped, but he was desperate.

 

"I'll arrange a car to take you to accommodation tomorrow. 8 sharp," Tony stated flatly, before leaving the tower.

 

Bucky took a slow breath and sat down. Steve stood up, putting a hand on the side of Bucky's face and pulling him so that his head was resting on his thigh.

 

"I'm proud of you, Buck," Steve reassured, "You did good."

 

 

                                                                       ###

 

 

Steve wheeled the two suitcases into the drive of Stark Tower. It was less of a drive and more of a fully fledged valet stop at this point, with cars coming and going

a lot of the time.

 

"I didn't know you even owned two suitcases worth of stuff, Buck," Steve frowned, patting the cases before sitting on the wall to wait for the car.

 

Bucky shrugged.

 

"They were outside my room this morning, I didn't pack them. Maybe the robot voice thing did. MARVIN?" He mumbled.

 

"JARVIS, not Marvin," Steve chuckled.

 

A car finally pulled up, a black Chrysler with tinted windows and no License plate. The driver stepped out and approached them.

 

"I'm here to take Captain Steve Rogers and Sergeant Bucky Barnes to Washington Central Airport? You have a flight scheduled for 10 am today."

 

 Bucky looked at Steve for explanation desperately.

 

"We were told the hospital was in Washington, why do we need a flight?" Steve asked quietly, watching the panic rise in Bucky's expression.

 

The chauffeur shook his head.

 

"Not a hospital, sir. You have a flight to a private cabin in Hawaii for 3 weeks. Paid vacational leave. And Mr Stark asked me to give you this."

 

Steve took the small piece of card and read it:

 

 

Because I Understand.

Have a good trip,

Tony.

 


End file.
